Harry Potter’s 20th Anniversary Party (NSFW)

The following story is purely fictional and is written for my own personal fun. No malicious intent is intended.

Harry Potter’s 20th Anniversary Party (NSFW)

“Harry! Over here Harry!” Harry Potter heard Hermione calling out over the murmuring crowd of the Class of 1998 20th Reunion. Harry barely recognized the faces of his ex-classmates gathered in the Hogwarts Grand Hall – most of his close friends had moved away from England, or simply not come to the reunion.

“Fucking blond bellend,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed past the much more handsome and famous Draco Malfoy and his partner, Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, to get to Hermione who was excitedly awaiting him.

It had been almost a decade since Harry had spoken to Hermione, but any nervousness quickly disappeared as she leapt at him and almost broke his ribs with a bear hug. Harry wasn’t very good at hugging because he didn’t have a mother.

Age had not been kind to Harry – he had a large bald spot on the back of his head and his rampant addiction to potions had left him with a sizeable gut that not even magic could fix. Hermione was not the same beauty she was in her youth either. Years of working at the ministry had left her with large wrinkles on her face and Harry could see the grey regrowth in her dyed hair.

They were still glad to see each other.

“Where’s Ginny?” Hermione tentatively inquired, already knowing the answer. Gossip spread quickly with Wizardkind. Harry explained that Ginny had only been with him because he was famous, but as he aged and people forgot his heroic deeds, she left him for a much younger, sexier and more famous Quidditch player, Ed Milliband. Hermione replied in turn about how she had also left Ron, due to his more sinister crime of being a ginger fuck Weasley.

Harry looked deep into Hermione’s hazel eyes. They had exchanged small-talk for long enough. Both of them had come to the reunion for the one and same reason. Hermione lunged at Harry’s hand and apparated them to the nearest toilet block.

Hidden away from prying eyes, Hermione began sucking Harry’s face off as he rubbed his hands up and down her Muggle-born body. At first he began undressing her slowly; but as his anticipation built he became impatient and began ripping off her remaining clothes, followed by his own.

He held back his own giggles and said with a wry smile, “If you use these Philosopher’s Stones you’ll get my Elixir of Life!” He pointed to his two wrinkly testicles. Hermione was understandably unimpressed. However, the sight of Harry’s eleven inch phoenix-core wand instantly made her forget his immaturity.

“Oh Harry… you’ve cast a spell on me. I need you NOW!” Hermione said in her sexy English accent, pulling out her wand. “Accio dick!”

Before Harry could react he was flying across the room by the seat of his pants, and flew straight inside Hermione. She pushed him to the ground and began making sweet love to him. Hermione could tell that something was clearly on Harry’s mind; he was struggling to keep it up even with the Wingardium Leviosa charm.

Harry began crying. However, Hermione knew the perfect way to get him ready to go again. She reached into her coat pocket and took a swig out of a carefully concealed flask.

“What was that??” Harry asked inquisitively. Hermione did not need to reply, as before his very eyes Hermione transformed into Albus Dumbledore.

Hermione felt Harry go instantly rock hard. Harry stroked Hermione’s new beard and rapidly thrusted until the two of them finished and lay in ecstasy.

“Can we go again?” Harry asked Hermione-turned-Dumbledore, but she was already asleep.

I’d be keen…” Harry heard a whisper through the ground.

“Who’s there?” Harry whispered, looking around. Ascending through the ground was the blue ghost of Moaning Myrtle. Someone had cast a spell on her that had allowed her to age to twenty-one years old, and she had become a seriously major hottie. “I’ve never had sex with a…” Harry continued before he was interrupted by Myrtle flying onto him.

“There’s another reason the boys like calling me Moaning Myrtle!” she screamed before doing exactly what her name would imply. The loud noises from Myrtle woke Hermione, who was strangely turned on by the freaky ghost sex, and decided it would be fun to join in. The three made love all night.

The next morning…

Hermione woke Harry with a bombshell. “I’m pregnant Harry…”

Harry was in shock. “But… what…when… how do you know?”

“…and Snape’s the father.”

Harry was somehow even more shocked. “But he’s been dead for 15 years??”

Hermione once again reached into her coat pocket and pulled out the Time-turner they had used to save Sirius. “I had to find a way to pay for my student debts Harry… my parents don’t own any Wizard-bucks.”

Harry felt guilty because he had spent all his Wizard-bucks on potions. He considered apparating away and never speaking to Hermione again, but he decided he would do the honorable thing and help Hermione raise the child as if it was his own.

THE END

 

I do not own any of the intellectual property of the Harry Potter Universe and this story is in no way associated with the original creators. The books were written by J.K. Rowling and have been adapted to film by Warner Brothers. Please go and buy them if you have not read/seen them – you won’t regret it.

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