CONSUME
Introducing the newest and greatest (and silliest) version of the highest-selling book of all time, The Bible. I mostly wrote this for myself – I have always wanted to read the Bible for secular curiosity but find the language very dull and obfuscated. So I created the New Heretic’s Version of The Bible – a satirical retelling of the major Bible story beats but without a lot of the faff (with a healthy dose of silly faff re-added). I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!
Stacey’s voice thundered across the battlefield: ‘SAY HELLO TO DEMOCRACY!’ With a rifle in hand, she charged off the Pelican, … More
Welcome dear reader. Let’s fix you up with a drink and enthrall you with the tragedy of Joebot. Joebot sat … More
The Don has a chance encounter with some of his old rivals.
Jessica Jones is coming home when she encounters a familiar sexy foe.
Lara Cock and Indiana Bones join up to raid an Aztec tomb in a Mexican Jungle.
Rey and Kylo release some tension after communicating through the force.
Dirk Gently teaches Todd the benefits of being a holistic detective.
The rejected saucy and smutty draft for the R-rated Black Panther movie pitch.
The relationship between South Korea and the USA could be strained by a sexy ex-boyfriend.
The Game of Thrones fan-fiction you didn’t know you wanted and definitely didn’t need.
Queen Elizabeth takes back control of parliament and does some 420 gangsta shit.
Remember the Spicemaster? Neither do I. RIP IN PIECES SEAN SPICER
Undoing his tie, Malcolm quietly said to ScoMo, “If you beat Labor’s deficit with your budget surplus, I’ll get a stimulus package.” He threw in a casual wink for good measure.
Roid Chicken 